Thursday, October 28, 2004

Happy Birthday to me! (Part 2)

This marks the third anniversary of this weblog. I know I say this every year, and each year it just gets more and more convoluted. Sometimes I am not sure why I continue to pour my heart out to the world to hear, considering that it resembles a 16-year-old drama queen who cannot stop talking about her life problems involving the decision on the colour of her prom dress. Just doing a quick survey of all my entries in the past year, and I realised how insignificant some of my concerns were.

I wrote in my birthday entry last year about retribution and how it always comes back to bite you when you least expect it. The theme of this year is relatively similar. Although circumstances are different, as there were many significant changes to my life throughout the year, but I feel the underlying person is finally emerging. I had long forgotten who I really was, or where I was going in life. Somehow I had steered off-course, and became what I really did not want to become as a person.

So I paid for it - dearly. It prompted me to change, to recognize and identify what the problems were and to correct them. There were just way too many overdue problems that I had ignored for far too long. Progress was made, and I started to see how wrong I was and how truly I deserved what I received.

By no means that I think it is complete. I see it more as a transformation of character, which is only the beginning of reforming myself. There's still so much to learn, and so much to improve in. I get discouraged easily - but thankfully there happens to be people always around me to point me in the right direction.

Thanks for those who remembered.. at least some people cared. To quote myself, "There are people whom I once thought would be there for me regardless what happened, and now I don't even get a simple 'happy birthday' from them.. "

C'est la vie.

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