Monday, December 30, 2002

Merry Belated Christmas to everybody! It's been a while since I have babbled here, and there are millions of reasons why that happened. Let's try to recap my previous week's activities..

December 23rd - Shopping! Went to Square One and met up with Kenneth. Walked around the entire mall trying to buy everybody's presents. Realized that buying presents is harder than I thought.

December 24th - Christmas eve. The most uneventful day of the holidays thus far. Nothing happened today other than some last minute Christmas shopping with Adrian. Spent most of the day at Markville roaming from store to store. Didn't even have a chance to hit Best Buy. Bleh.

December 25th - Christmas day. Kenric and friends had a Christmas party, felt a bit weird at first but quickly got into the spirit of things. I haven't had this much fun in ages - a group of young adults playing children games. Pictionary was good. Killer was even better. The food was simply awesome - especially when I didn't have to cook. Really grateful these people put all this effort into making the evening a blast. Dessert took the night though - saw the incredible crepe maker. Gotta get myself one of those.

December 26th - Boxing day. AKA shopping madness. Went to Yorkdale at 11:30am - bad idea. Should have either gone at 8:00am or not gone at all. The lineup to get INTO the mall was 20 minutes, followed by a 30 minutes quest to secure a parking spot 15 miles away from the nearest entrance. Not to mention that the mall was packed like canned goods, and the stuff wasn't really that cheap. Every year I keep telling myself that it's pointless to go because (a) I'm not a girl, and guy's stuff never goes on sale and (b) I don't think my sanity is worth the savings I will gain from shopping on boxing day. Of course, much like choosing courses in school, I fail to acknowledge previously painful experiences and proceed to act on my own stuipidity.
Met with Michelle and Wendy, visitors from the United States for a couple of days. Had dinner, shot some pool and played some rather interesting photo hunt games. I need to wash my eyes.

December 27th - Dragged my guests to watch me get a haircut. Wasn't entirely my fault - Adrian had to get his roadkill off his head too. After which we had dinner at Commerce Gate. Arcades was excellent. YukYuks was really funny - although I think I was the only one who found it REALLY funny. What can I say, I laugh at everything. More like I try to laugh at everything. After spending months in the lab, anything ordinary can make me laugh.

December 28th - Attempted to eat at Market Village. Spent half an hour trying to locate a parking space, got annoyed and went to a nearby mall for similar food. Congee was very satisfying. Karaoke followed. 4.75 hours of singing = $10CDN. Not a bad deal at all. Surprised how horribly I sound with a mic - decided to cross out being a singer from my list of potential careers. Had dinner at Chinese Hut and ordered Peking duck. After which we went to Dave and Busters to play some silly arcades and skee ball. Adrian tried his hands at the Storm Stopper game and hit the bonus with one try. 500 tickets. Exchanged for a Tweety and a set of paddle ball. I suspect he might regret doing that, as those became weapons to hit him with during the ride back home. Also had some good ol' chinese dessert - although mine wasn't exactly good.

December 29th - More shopping. Had brief lunch at Chiu Chow Lo in 'sauga, then proceeded to Square One. Bought myself an orange fleece from Old Navy. Met with a friend of Adrian's, had Krispy Kreme and babbled. Gone to Chapters to look at more travel guides, bought a couple of books. Playdium in Mississuga is now a disappointment. No wonder the one downtown was closed after only a few months of operation. Last stop - bubble tea with 11 other people.

December 30th - Couldn't sleep. Slept for about two hours and then woke up unexpectedly. Blogging. Quite annoyed that I cannot fall asleep. I feel that the anxiety attack is starting to kick in.

Before you comment on how funny I talk, perhaps you would like to be reminded that I'm running on two hours sleep and it is 6:30am.

Monday, December 23, 2002

Spent an uneventful evening at home. Cleaned up my room a little more now - you can finally see some floor space!
Went back into Waterloo today to finish off cleaning up the place and give the keys back to the landlord. Kinda hectic since I had to wake up relatively early today and just got back. Actually, I just rushed back to have dinner with my brother, only to find that he already made plans with his friends. Oh well.

Really need to get some shopping done. I haven't done anything since I came back and it's already the 22nd. Three more days until Christmas. Come to think of it, I have about two weeks left before I start my next work semester. Kinda scary!

Sunday, December 22, 2002

Finally moved out of Waterloo, and enjoying some well-deserved time at home. Haven't really done much - my room is a mess again, thanks for moving all the junk I had from Waterloo. Time to get moving and just throw everything out! Haha..

Today I think I'll just roam around the mall to do some last minute Christmas shopping. There are a few people I haven't bought stuff for yet, and it would be a really good time to do it (seeing that Christmas is only 4 days away). Funny, ever since entering university, I don't feel the whole Christmas/festive season. Maybe it's because I'm too tuned out from exams, or maybe I have grown much older now. I just don't see a point. It sure gives me a good excuse to call up old friends and catch up with them though!

Thursday, December 19, 2002

My goal for the Christmas holidays :

1. Clean up my room
2. Re-connect with people that I have lost touch with
3. Prepare for my next work term
4. Enjoy myself
5. Sleep

Notice sleep is at the lowest priority compared to the rest. Seeing that I barely get any rest during my school semesters, I don't see a reason why it should be given a higher priority than all the other pending tasks. Cleaning up my room has been on the list for quite some time (uh, since I moved, which was about 5 years ago), and I feel that it's time that actually goes into action. My idea of cleaning up though, is to reduce the amount of clutter in my room. It has gotten progressively worse since I entered university (I blame it on the lack of time).

Off to pick up my brother from the mechanic. Be back later to babble some more. :)

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Lack of updates here.. anyway, DONE DO DA DAY! (tm)

Finally, this semester is over. In a way I am glad it's over, but some part of me wished that it went on so I could improve on it. Argh. Hate being a perfectionist.

I have been enjoying myself and taking it easy. I'm even taking three days just to move out. Now that's really relaxed. Hopefully I can get this over with too and really start enjoying my holiday.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

Speaking of sadistic nature, my professors are sadistic. I got two of my marks back already - let's just say this is by far the worst term I have performed since the beginning of my university career. What's so laughable, is the fact that I really studied. People who know me should know how hard I study, how I give everything up for four months just to devote to school. This is what I get in return.

One more, and I'll be back to the mundane routine of work-school-work-school-work.. at least I get two weeks in between. Otherwise I think I would really go crazy.

Friday, December 13, 2002

I have this sadistic nature of torturing myself sometimes, and the masochistic side of me accepts it willingly. That's what I do to myself every semester of school.

Whenever I study for midterms or final exams, I get really annoyed and vow to never take such a course ever again. When it comes time to register for my courses next semester, every semester in retrospect is 'easy' and 'not as tough as it seemed to be'. Voices in my head tell me, �If I could get through that, the next one won�t be too bad.�

Sometimes I wish I could take those voices out to the back alley and beat the shit out of them.
Yes I'm slacking off in the library again. Just came on to blog and explain to you why I have been so bitter for the past little while. I do realize that my blogs are becoming more synical and depressing, to say the very least. This has become my ranting ground, my escape from reality, my safehaven from the harsh truth. This has been truly, truly a crappy year. Things are going my way - sort of. Everything in my life comes with a little twist, a little 'zip', and a whole bunch of shit. Nothing ever really goes 'as planned'.

For example, consider my work term report. It is true that at the end I finally passed, but not without hours of torture and barely not making the resubmission deadline. Of course, along the way I sacraficed studying time and all. So the whole flow of the work report was: start thinking of a topic in july -> no topic in august -> panic early september -> finishing at 4pm on the day its due (due at 4:30pm) -> failed miserably -> put aside because of too much work during school -> panic a week before resubmission deadline -> work on it till wee hours in the morning -> barely making the resubmission deadline -> pass.

Take another example, my school work. Yes I'm not absolutely failing, but not without a lot of disappointment and stress. Midterms, I stressed. Projects, I stressed. Assignments and labs, I stressed. Even my fourth year project, I stressed (and failed the design proposal). Nothing comes without "blood, sweat and tears". Haha. Remind me to tell you a story about my "blood, sweat and tears".

So this is why I'm bitter. Byte me.

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Strike three! Thank goodness this is not baseball. Sometimes I think professors are these mad scientists that are really nice to you in front of you, but behind your back they have all these crazy things in their lab and they plot to take over the world. All of them. Either that or they are really sadistic and like to see us suffer. Why on earth would you have an examination where the basis of knowledge is how much you can stuff in your head? I mean, come on, a table of equations is hardly 'knowledge' that a university student should possess, especially when those equations are empirically calculated anyway! They don't mean anything.

Sometimes I just wish life was fair, and that the professors will have to sit in front of us and write the freakin' final exam without any aids, just like the 200 of us. I mean, sure, they wrote the final so they have an advantage. Somehow I don't think these professors can write their own exam in three hours either, and get even a 90 on it. They say a good gauge of the length of the exam is for the professor to sit down, write the exam as if they were the student, then double the time they took. I hope more professors follow that rule in the future.

Alright, enough bitching for the day. Back to studying control systems..

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Sorry Adrian :P I had to get up this morning, but I didn't realize that the phone could ring for a minute and I'll still be dead asleep. This is exactly the reason why my already-loud alarm clock has no effect on me at all. Hahaha.. but at least you get to sleep in. I'm heading to the freakin' LIBRARY right now. Library is my second home.. if I want to do well on the next three final exams, I think I need to make it my permanent home.
Yay, failed another one! Two down.. Luck is just not on my side today..

The good thing is, five more days and I'm free! FREE!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Monday, December 09, 2002

So tired.. but can't sleep.. need to study. Why does this have to be so hard? It's like a constant struggle between good and evil.

Good = Study study study
Evil = Go sleep

Somehow I think evil is winning.
One down, four more to go.. I have another exam tomorrow. Not that it matters anymore - I already screwed up my first one. I really did. Poorly. Like we're talking about really crapped out.

Need to pick up self-motivation again.. bah, this has just been a really bad term.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

Evelyn finally left for HK.. which leaves me here in Canada for another month before I head off to my next work destination.. I'm not going to see her for about three months - which sucks a lot. I guess it's something I'll just have to get used to :(
At least that's all done.. no more assignments, no more projects, no more freakin' reports to write. Just pure cramming stylez for the next two weeks.. wait, just 10 days. Oh crap.

Let the party begin! Davis Centre Library, here I come!

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

Coffee Count for the Week = 0
Sleepless Hours for the Week = Too many

I didn't drink ANY coffee this week, mainly because I have been working from home and it's too cold outside for me to get coffee. Yes I know I have a coffee machine, but I am too lazy to do that. Pulled three all-nighters in a row - I now look like 'a piece of shit', according to various people. At least work term report is over. I have another report due in approximately 8 hours. Last one. Then the fun begins.

What fun, you may ask. Studying for finals in courses that I have not been attending class for a month, THAT is fun.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

I don't want to jinx it, but the project is finally done. As in, we tested it enough last night to be confident that it won't crap out on us during the actual demo. Too bad we missed the bonus deadline by two days - which kinda sucks because I could really use that one mark, and we didn't miss it by that much! The good thing is, now I get the rest of the week to do whatever I want. (which means more school work, more labs, and more studying) Speaking of which, I should really get back to re-working on my work term report (got a freakin' resubmit, argh).

The coffee count will live on, however. :) I don't think it'll ever reach that high again, but hey, let's keep track how much coffee I drink so at the end of the year, it will give me motivation to quit because I spend too much money on it. Now I just made drinking coffee seem really bad, like smoking. It's not at all. Drinking coffee is a normal day-to-day activity people participate in, like breathing. It is based on the mere monetary value that I consider cutting down. :)

Do I seem more jolly in this blog? Perhaps it's because I no longer have to worry about the stupid software project and actually do something else for a change!

Monday, November 25, 2002

Actually, I just realized that when I posted that it was already past midnight. So now the coffee count is officially reset to zero. Yay.
Coffee Count for the Week = 12.5

Alright, only a few automated tests left to clear up. This is going much better than I thought. I thought I was going to have to spend years in this lab in order to get a simple telephone switch working. Well, looks like my coffee count next week might be a slight bit lower than this week's. :)

Sunday, November 24, 2002

Alright, so we have passed 6 out of 14 automated tests.. not bad.. now let's see how I can get them to all work.

My coffee count will reset itself tomorrow I guess, since I started on Monday. Man, that's really sad. 11 already. I think I'll be needing a couple more tomorrow to keep me going on this stupid project.
Coffee Count for the Week = 11

Dammit. I thought it was ALMOST over - but it seemed like it just started. More to debug.. at least the code is done. Now it's just modifying it and making sure it satisfies the standard that the profs have set.

Speaking of standards (as you can tell, I'm just procrastinating now), why are we EXPECTED to all work towards some sort of a standard? Who defines the standard anyway?

Friday, November 22, 2002

Coffee Count for the Week = 9.5

Alright, so I think the collective agreement within our group is not to kill ourselves trying to finish. Although it would have been NICE to finish on time. Argh. Oh well, you can't always get what you want. You give some and you take some right? Just got some more coffeeeeeeee before William's closed. I think I will need to recover from this week.

It's 2:30am.. maybe I'll cut tonight short and go home, seeing that we probably won't make much more progress today..
Coffee Count for the Week = 8

It doesn't seem like I will finish. Still a major component of the system is not finished, and not to talk about debugging.. argh. Sorry for those who have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm a geek, I know. But it's hard to not immerse yourself in the 'techno babble' when you basically LIVE in the computer engineering program. Kinda sad, really.

Haven't slept yet. One more night of struggle to finish, and then I'm giving up and crashing for good.

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Nothing has changed since the last time I blogged. Except I'm about _THIS CLOSE_ to killing everybody around me. 5:15am. Seems kinda early huh? I think I'll need some serious sleep, don't you? Perhaps the 1% is not worth this much agony - my time could be much better spent elsewhere. I feel my motivation dying, sorta like trickling blood after slitting your wrist open. Kinda morbid huh? Well, that's what happens when you are messed in the head after not sleeping for a week, with the combination of coffee!

Speaking of which, the coffee counter is broken because William's Coffee Pub is closed. But trust me, tomorrow the count will be way high.
Coffee Count for the Week = 7

That one was from before dinner. I still have to go out and get myself another cup. Only to know that the closest coffee place is too far to walk. Damn. I hate working late nights - even coffee houses close down on me.

I'm a *BIT* psychotic right now. So don't mind me if I start speaking with incoherent sentences and profanity that would hurt *YOUR* virgin ears.

Coffee Count for the Week = 6

By the way, the coffee count above is from Monday of this week. Just to keep track of how many cups of coffee I have consumed during the course of the week. An XL size coffee counts for 1.5, where as anything smaller than a large counts only at 0.5. Yes, I'm a geek, sue me.

Still more programming to go. Looks like I won't be sleeping tonight either. I didn't get to bed until 5:30am yesterday, and I still have millions of things to do. It's crazy.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Coffee Count for the Week = 3.5

Yep, I'm in the lab again. What else is new? Every time I post at un-human hours, I end up being in the lab. This is kinda stupid. I'm going to try not to bitch about it from this point forward, but to simply come on here and rant. Things are slowly falling into place - but will it be too late? We have about 72 hours to go before deadline, and not to mention our code is barely completed. Guess it's time to really start kicking into high gear and work our ways through the night.

Monday, November 18, 2002

Happy Birthday to Evie.. :) Hope this year will bring you absolute happiness and bliss.. :)
Okay, one more day wasted. I have been in 'slack mode' this whole weekend. Didn't do any work. Suddenly school didn't seem so important to me anymore.. perhaps I have run out of steam? That motivation and drive within me is dying? Or I have simply accepted the fact that nothing else I do will matter and I might as well fall upon the hands of fate?

Tonight we went to Red Lobster for Evelyn's birthday dinner.. alright so her birthday is not until tomorrow, but given all our schedules, tonight was the perfect night for the dinner. For those who know - I am allergic to most seafood. Why I picked Red Lobster is beyond me. I think this invisible force kinda made me to do it. Hahaha.

I ended up eating fish and chips.. ugh.. something I'll learn to like in the next couple of months..

Sunday, November 17, 2002

Right now I'm into the programming mode for a good week - my software engineering project is due next Friday. I will be spending day and night in the lab, non-stop, no sleeping, for the next week. This really reminds me of last semester when I had to do the stupid operating systems project. At least this time there is no hardware to interact with - maybe it'll be easier? It's finally back to what we're familiar with, just simple C coding and nothing fancy. Except now we have to use UNIX messages.. ugh.. right. I just entered 'geek mode' also.. excuse me.

Nothing much is happening. Next Friday (which happens to be the day that I will be submitting my project) I will be attending a charity ball with Evelyn. I am sure it will be lots of fun. Too bad Adrian couldn't make it, but some of my other friends will be there too. Need to start going on a diet in order to fit in those pants I have. I wonder if it's formal or just semi-formal. Oh well, doesn't matter, for guys, it's just a shirt and a tie, jacket optional type deal. :)

Back to coding..

Friday, November 15, 2002

Something really funny happened to me over the weekend when I went to the mall with Evelyn. First of all, it was pretty far away from campus so not a lot of people know about it. The first impression I got when I walked in was, "Wow, this feels just like being in high school again." because there were MANY younger teenagers roaming around. Secondly, there were almost no presence of Asians.. feels just like where I used to live.

I got hungry while walking around so I went to a certain fast-food place for food. The girl that was serving me, she was no more than 16 or 17. As she was serving me, she couldn't keep her eyes off me. Not in a weird kinda way, but just staring and smiling and giggling and the whole thing. It took me a while to click in what she was doing. Then she started whispering to her friend and giggle some more. Now fine, maybe you may think that I'm ugly and she's just laughing at me. Well then she started piling on the food, and it was almost double of what I was supposed to get. Anyway, the whole time she didn't take her eyes off me. It was kinda funny at the time.

But that wasn't it!

Then Evelyn got thirsty so we went to get juice. The girl at the juice place ended up charging me for a small, gave me a large, and had to say to me, "I think I charged you for a medium.. but I'll give you a large anyway." I mean, I am not going to refuse an gratuitous offer like that! Much like the first girl, she was smiling at me quite a bit.

Funniest part of the whole story - Evelyn was right next to me the whole time these events occurred. Not that she�s the jealous type - we even talked about the events after and had a good laugh. It was funny though, the forwardness of these younger teenagers makes me feel so old.

Perhaps they both had a really good day at work and they genuinely feel happy. Yeah, that must be it.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Took the weekend off. I have decided that I had far too much to do, and that stressing now or stressing later wouldn't make a difference, so I chose stress later. Didn't do much Friday, took off to Toronto for the night, needed to get away from the Waterhole. Stood in line for a long while on Saturday, before heading back to Waterloo for the par-tay. It was fun, although I'm not a big dancing person so the night went by slow. It was cool to hang out with some people though. Woke up at 1pm on Sunday, went to the mall, walked around, went home, had dinner, went curling. What a weekend. Did everything but work!

Perhaps that's what life should be like.. ahh..

Saturday, November 09, 2002

The presentation went well today! I was quite surprised how well it turned out - last night we were still a bit fresh at the written speech, and today it seemed so different. I guess everybody raised above the expectation when put under pressure! I know I'm like that.. when being pressed for performance, I always come out ahead and deliver. I guess you could say it's a good trait to have.. but I still don't like the fact that it all depends on how pressured I am. I mean, what if there is this ONE time I don't come out ahead? What then?

Also handed in my microprocessor assignment today! It felt really satisfying today to know two major hurdles are now history~~~ Although I did pay for them - two weeks of no sleep, constant stress, and driving everybody around me crazy. I swear, my group members certainly learned a 'new side' of me they never saw before.

To Evie: You will be fine tomorrow. There is nothing to worry about - really. I still live by my high school motto : "I have kept the faith. I have finished the race." I hope you can keep that as your motto also. Never lose faith! Somehow I always knew you would surprise everybody including yourself of your abilities..

Friday, November 08, 2002

Finished preparing for my 4th year project presentation just now with my group.. took us a long time just to sort out a lot of issues. I think one thing that's lacking in me is communication skills - sometimes I just can't communicate properly, and it's very evident when I'm working with a group of people. I always thought of myself as a proficient speaker, can clearly communicate my ideas to others - how wrong I am. I should really take some classes to improve my skills.. or just talk to people more often. Effective communication - I think that's what the course is called. I'm definitely going to look into that for my next elective.

Feeling really down lately - must be because of my nearly broken finger. Due to some weird accident yesterday, my fingers were slammed in between the door and the door frame. It was kinda funny afterwards when I told myself that "Damn, I won't be able to type".. little did I realize that I also would have trouble writing, eating, or doing anything with my right hand for that matter. I can barely bend it, and it hurts a whole lot when I try. I should have seen a doctor, but lately I have developed this doctor-phobia.. ugh.

Wonder if anybody else reads this besides the four or five people I can count.. wonder if any of my classmates read this?..
Alright, one down, one more to go. About 3 hours from now I have to submit my slides for my 4th year project presentation. I wonder if people will buy our idea.. and just to think, standing in front of my fellow classmates for 14 minutes is a long time - longer than I have ever stood in front of my class. Of course, I am not scared that I would not perform well.. I am a natural when it comes to public speaking. It's more that I'm scared they will ask me questions regarding the project that I totally did not anticipate, leaving me stunned and a little bit more than embarrassed in front of everybody.

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Finally I have caught up with my sleep and started working on another project that's due this Friday.. :) Writing a microprocessor! Fun! Plus I have to finish my 4th year project presentation.. gonna try to convince people to fund our project!

Oh well, back to work :P

Thursday, October 31, 2002

Ladies and gentlemen, children and pets, today marks the first all-nighter of the term! It's freakin' 6:52AM and I'm still up working on my Software Engineering document. As if last night wasn't bad enough (didn't get to bed until 4:30am), today was even worse. Not to mention I still have CLASSES today. HAHAHAHAHA..

Let's hope I finish this in time so I can go to class, maybe get some sleep this afternoon so I can start working tonight again.


Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Still in the lab. 6 hours later. Still working on the same report. 30 pages later. Still have to go through the report once more to make sure we have covered all our points.

People are going insane in the labs. I started laughing for no reason, non-stop, for about 5 minutes. Then everybody joined in. We sure love labs.
Midterms are over - now on to labs and reports. Within these two days I have to churn out two reports.. ugh. This just never ends.. hahaha.

I read everybody's blog almost daily - sometimes when I get bored I even read them twice just for fun. I have found a consensus though - we all need some sleep! Everybody is complaining about the lack of sleep - we're just THAT busy. It's crazy, isn't it?

I just wish everything would stop for a moment to let me catch up.

Monday, October 28, 2002

Yay, last midterm to write today in about 6.5 hours. Then I have millions of other things to finish.

Last night Evelyn spent the whole day studying with me - and only fell asleep once! What an accomplishment for her. Now let's hope she continues the trend and reduce her sleeping hours from 20 to 18. :P Anyhow, that was really sweet of her to spend the day with me, even though I had to stay in the library for the whole day.

Back to cramming for Analog Control.. ugh..
I really hate to put a damper on things, especially on my birthday. It's supposed to be a happy day. R-I-G-H-T. Anybody that says Happy Birthday to me will get a witty reply, such as "How happy can you be when you spend the entire day in the library?" or "Would you be happy if you were me!?"

I'm starting to believe that birthdays are just a milestone. Just a day that marks the end of one year and starting of the next. It holds no special significance at all. Nothing. Especially when you're a student and there's a midterm tomorrow. It just loses all meaning. Maybe I shouldn't care too much about it anymore. After all, I'm just getting older. It's not special or anything.

So I've been here since 11am - but I did get an extra hour of sleep because of daylight savings time. So my birthday lasted 25 hours today. Yay. I should celebrate. This is ridiculous. I'm wasting my life away here in this Davis Centre Library. It feels like my youth and energy is just slowly dripping away.

Never mind me, I'm just ranting because I had a crappy birthday. Well, at least some people remembered. Some people even went out of their way to get my friends together for a birthday dinner two nights ago. I should be grateful. At least some people care. Oh and I got a phone call at 12:02am. That was very nice of them. Then again, there are people whom I once thought would be there for me regardless what happened, and now I don't even get a simple 'happy birthday' from them..

Sunday, October 27, 2002

A year ago I started my blog.. through the eyes of a bystander.. to record my journey through life. My birthday resolution last year didn't work out quite well - there were periods of my life when I did not record my thoughts and feelings on my journal. Who says resolutions are always followed?! :) Since the beginning of time, resolutions were made to be broken (much like promises). This year, I promise myself to be a better person. I want to be all that I can be. (I sound like a military commercial on TV)

Seriously, I have to pick myself up from 'my so-called life' and put my life back together. Twenty-two years later and here I am - still unsuccessful in everything I have pursued. I have to realize - hey, I'm not getting any younger by sitting around doing nothing.

Happy Birthday to me!

Friday, October 25, 2002

Have my law midterm sometime later today.. been studying the whole day for it. After been through three really technical exams (Communication, Software Engineering, and Digital Systems), this is actually quite refreshing. I mean, nobody likes studying for midterms, but it was kinda interesting to read and trying to learn it by integrating it with my life. For example, now I know certain things are illegal in practice that people do everyday without thinking that it's wrong.

I think taking arts courses gives us engineering students a different perspective on things. Not everything is black-and-white and defined with equations and greek symbols. There is a whole world out there to us to learn about.

Live and learn :)

Thursday, October 24, 2002

Feel a little bit better now, probably because I missed all my morning classes and get more than 3 hours of sleep last night. Ah well, I'll catch up eventually. Just have to sacrafice a couple more weekends and I'll be back on track. Midterm in about 50 minutes, and I always feel so unprepared yet bored of studying around this time. I just know how to come online, blog, and tell the world how much I dislike doing this over and over again.

I think I can count the number of people who reads this regularly. In fact, my life is so boring that nobody would read this and make a habit out of it.

Wish me luck. Haha.

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Let me rant a little more now about my stupid degree here at Waterloo. They really don't understand how much stress they put us under - and sometimes I wonder how so many of us are still sane. Yeah, so I'm in my fourth year of university, I should just suck it up and take it. But this is the point when I just decide ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. First of all, we have midterms. Fine, they come and go every semester. Then right after midterms (which ends next Monday), my lab report is due on Monday, prelab exercises are due on Tuesday, lab project report (~20 pages) due Wednesday, my software design document (~25 pages) due Thursday.

To make matters worse, I found out today I failed my work term report. Which means I get the joy of figuring out what went wrong, re-write it, and hand it in within three weeks. Great. On top of all those I still have classes, regularly scheduled labs, and other academic obligations. Oh did I mention that we have a fourth year design project presentation in two weeks? Plus we have to actually implement our software design, and finish coding up a microprocessor from the hardware level.

I am usually not the one to complain about the amount of work, because it comes with the notion that we *learn* from all these activities. However, I question if all these 'activities' are doing our mental health any good. They say they want us to have a balanced education - bullshit. I don't call spending two weeks in the library, having irregular eating hours (I have varied from having no meals to one meal a day, at various times throughout the day), maintaining an average of 3 hours sleep, and stressing 24/7 a BALANCED education. Instead of looking at the statistics, maybe they should interview the students and find out exactly what the workload is like.

[/rant mode off]

Saturday, October 19, 2002

Remind me later to tell you about Mabel's birthday thing last weekend. It was kinda funny, but this is really not the time to type too much more.. time is ticking away.
Yay, in about 45 minutes I'm going to write my first midterm of this semester.. great.. I feel really unprepared. Even though I have been studying for the past couple of days, and I mean, I _studied_. Library has become my second home (my first home is the lab), and I pretty much get kicked out every night when they close. I'm usually the first one in, and the last one to leave. Well, and then I leave for class/food. Sometimes I wonder why I still do this when I question it all the time. I guess there are things you *WANT* to do, and then there are things you *HAVE* to do.

Oh Happy Birthday (belated) Michelle! :) As for Adrian, I'll be cooking steak/porkchops every night when you get back in Waterloo. Uhh wait, I have midterms the whole next week. Forget that. :P

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Too bad I sold my laptop, otherwise I'd be blogging with my laptop in the library instead of standing here at the public terminal typing away. My first midterm is fast approaching - Friday to be exact. I haven't done any homework this term, so I guess I have three days to totally catch up three chapters worth of materials and try to make sense of it all.

I shouldn't be complaining though, because for my law class, I have 10 chapters to catch up by next Friday. Hahahahaha.. I think right about now I will shut up about how arts courses are 'laid back' and 'not demanding'.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Still not finished the lab.. but what the heck, I have to start studying for my midterm this coming Friday. Blech. Feeling kinda sick.. I swear it's something in my room. It's been really dusty since I moved in.. so I'm not surprised if bacteria or whatever virus has been occupying the room before I moved in. I started getting sick as soon as I moved in - and still sick. Oh well, no time to clean. Gotta study.

Monday, October 14, 2002

In the lab right now working on a lab report. If it seems like that I only talk about school, then you are correct. School *IS* my life. I sometimes think I allow school to consume me completely, and in this regard I think I'm relatively weak. Just because society decides that 'School is important. High marks are important. Being competitive is important.', I have to blindly follow that. Who are we kidding? We all love to come out on top. For what though?

Thursday, October 10, 2002

I know I shouldn't be whining, but sometimes I think my life is such an irony. I'm going through the process of interviews and trying to find a job for my next co-op work term. Last year I got a total of _ONE_ interview during the entire job search. Now I am faced with not one, not two, but THREE interviews tomorrow. Great. Don't get me wrong - I am grateful of the fact that interviews are flying my way. Just that the amount of time it takes to prepare for each interview is much larger than you think.

In this day and age, to stay competitive in the job market, it pays to be a little more aggressive.

Back to reading company histories and product overviews..

Monday, October 07, 2002

I hate labs. I truly, truly do. Especially when I can't figure out how to do something.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Just trying to sort out my life.. been really lazy and falling behind on everything lately. Bleh. I really need to pick up the pace and get back on track. That's one hard thing to do.. catch up after falling behind.

Monday, September 30, 2002

Right now I'm posting this in the lab. Yeah, blog frequency is directly correlated to the amount of work I have. I'm not complaining though - I've just been lazy and not really following up on my tasks. Should make it a mandate this term to be responsible and attentive to details.

Considering graduate school at the moment. The thought has run through my mind several times throughout the past year or so, but I have not be committed to it. Simply put, I just don't know what I want to do with my life. Kinda sad, really. Part of me want to do graduate studies, persue higher education, and the rest of the BS people say when they justify going for their masters and PhD. Part of me want to just get the hell out and start working. I mean, what does a second degree bring me that my first won't? I'm talented in what I do, regardless whether or not I hold that second piece of paper that says "Congratulations, you have paid us more money so now here's a second degree for you."

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Alright! Back to procrastination.. I mean blogging. It's 3am and I'm still up! Everything seems to be back to normal now. School has really taken a toll on me this year - not only because this is one of the hardest semesters, but I have also committed myself in maintaining a slightly-more balanced lifestyle. Not to say I am going to slack off in school, but enough is enough. :)

Monday, September 23, 2002

Why can't I blog???? Now that I'm updating my blog, it would not let me publish..

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

I just endured a 24-hour cram session to finish my work report. Blech. My life is sad.

Lesson learned :
- never, ever, say you will finish in two days and give yourself only one day to finish it
- never try to work while sick and yucky stuff is coming out of your nose
- never put off something that you have four months to finish
- never say never :P

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Alright, so I haven't blogged in a month or so. I know I've been kinda lazy, but sometimes you just have to set your priorities straight!

Monday, July 22, 2002

On Saturday two of my housemates, my girlfriend, and I went to watch the Just for Laughs show "Simpsons : In the Flesh" at the Place Des Arts theatre in Montreal! I have only been to Montr�al twice before this, and this is the second time I have been there in the summer (the last time I went was a few days before Christmas). Montr�al is always a fun city to visit - reminds me of being in Toronto, has the perks of HK (where 11pm is considered early), and it is definitely a 'beautiful' city. :) Every time I go back there, I always discover something a little bit different about the city. I suppose doing a work term in Montr�al wouldn't be such a bad idea afterall - I do want to travel and experience life from a different point of view.

We left Ottawa at around noon, and through the endless driving through the farms and forests, we arrived in Montr�al at 2pm. We had a bit of a detour due to the fact we did not have a map of Montr�al on hand, but we did eventually arrive at Place Des Arts about half an hour later. Since the show is at 4pm, we went to grab a bite to eat at the nearby mall. (Adrian, Tania, and Andrew would know exactly which mall I am talking about) Finally, more poutine for me! I have been dying for the authetic poutine and I couldn't believe how much better it tastes after anticipating it for so long! Mmm.. have to go back to Montr�al for more later this summer!

Now on with the show. The show is basically all the voice artists behind the Simpsons going on stage and reading through an entire script. Sounds boring? See the show before you judge it! If you know anything about the Simpsons, you should know that each voice artist does voices for multiple characters. Sometimes they even have arguments with 'themselves'! The show started with some of the funniest clips from the Simpsons past, including the one where Homer got high on drugs and he sees rainbows everywhere. After which all the voice artists started reading the script - and let me tell you, it's surreal to see the voices behind the characters. I don't think I can watch the Simpsons the same ever again! Everytime I watch the show, I'll see these people reading the scripts out loud. I don't know whether it ruins my experience of watching the show, or will it enhance it by gaining a deeper understanding of the show itself. It is not JUST a cartoon - it's thoughtful, witty, often addresses current issues in our society (and poke fun at it).

The best part of the entire show was at the end where audiences were given the chance to ask questions. People asked the artists to say certain lines in certain character's voice (the funniest one was when Homer said "Mmmmm.. Canadian beer.."). Other people asked questions such as why there is so much hatred towards monkeys and robots, when will the show end (which Matt Groening promptly answered "When people stop watching"), why they got rid of Maude, etc. The show lasted 1 hour 40 minutes or so.

After the show we walked around Montr�al a bit, had dinner, then went bar-hopping and clubbing. :) Hahaha.. we didn't get home until 3am!

Friday, July 19, 2002

So I wanted to talk about the Ottawa Fringe Festival that I attended couple of weeks ago. It is an urban theatre festival, featuring over 100 different theatre companies performing numerous shows over a week-long festival, it is truly a celebration of the arts. The shows are usually one act (about an hour long), and the topic is wildly varies. Ottawa is only one of the many fringe festivals around the country (and the world!). They have these festivals in Montreal, Toronto, Calgary, even as far as Hong Kong!

For those who don't know, I'm a really big theatre-person. Although sometimes I don't have enough time (and $$$) to see all the shows I want, I catch them whenever I could. I'm going to do a little review section here of all the plays I have seen. I am not a critic, nor am I going to pretend to be one. Just trying to give some personal opinions on some of the shows I have seen, so perhaps if you see them on the road, you can catch one of these shows also!

Adonis for Sale
This show is about three infertile couples trying to bid for sperm online. Yes the idea might sound a little alternative, but it is definitely a refreshing idea. The three couples, all have their own individual problems, but linked by the fact that they put their hopes in bidding on the sperm that will allow them to have children.

Breakdancing has been almost branded a male-dominant event. Not anymore. Not after watching a bunch of girls showing me how it's done properly. It was artistic.. and they definitely showed that girls can do pretty much anything if they want to!


The Love Talker

... and what she found there

JOB - the Hip Hop Musical

Canadian Toast

The Canada Show
I learned so much more about Canada that I didn't use to know before watching the show!

The Condom, the Cucumber, and the Girl from Ipanema
By far the FUNNIEST show I have ever seen.

The Right Side of Left

Cobra : The Musical
Does anybody remember the Cobra? From G.I. Joe? Yeah, that annoying guy with the annoying voice is back. Terrible isn't it? They made a musical, and made fun of Hamlet, and all sorts of funny things happened. It's kinda hard to tell you what happened because quite frankly, I don't remember either. :)

News of the Day
Interesting thoughtful piece.

Note: I got too lazy to type them all up. If I ever get a chance to finish reviewing them, I'll tell you all. For now, well, at least you know which shows I saw. :)

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

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Friday, July 12, 2002

Just a quick happy birthday to Chris :)

Been busy with work. Gotta go. Maybe I'll write something later.

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Take a look at this :

Until He Decides...

I don't think there is anything particularly WRONG with it. Sure, it is outside of everyday accpted behaviour in society, but that doesn't make it wrong.

In my opinion, I think that because she's a single mom, she needs to continue keeping the emotional bond with her son as part of her life. Even though she keeps insisting that her kid can wean himself according to his own schedule, I'm sure she puts pressure on her son to not stop because she wants to satisfy her needs. Not necessarily sexual needs (although I am doubtful of that, I will give her the benefit of the doubt), but the need for closeness and belongingness.

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

This weekend kicked off the annual Bluesfest held right here in Ottawa. It is a weeklong festival that features live music on three different stages throughout the day. Some famous artists that are playing at the festival include The Tragically Hip, Blue Rodeo, Melissa Etheridge, Jann Arden, and Lauryn Hill! I have decided to volunteer for the event, because I really enjoy doing community work - not to mention I get to listen to them for free! (Plus there is that SLIGHT chance I get to meet the artists)

Yesterday was my first shift, and possibly my longest one. I took a double-shift from 3pm to 11pm, and let me tell you, it's not as easy as it seems. First of all, I was placed in Security, so I stood outside in the blazing sun for hours. There's no where for me to sit either. Anyhow, to make matters worse, I was placed ALONE at the concession vehicle entrance - meaning I had nobody else to talk to. Just great.

The festival is held in the middle of the city at Confederation Park. For some reason they also closed off the Laurier Bridge that crosses the Rideau Canal. The entrance I was manning was one of the entranceways to Laurier Bridge, which local residents have gotten used to travelling on. Well during the festival, the bridge is closed to the public. As you can imagine, that really frustrated a lot of people, especially the ones living around the neighbourhood. Not only do they HAVE to listen to the music (or noise, as somebody kindly pointed out to me yesterday), but also they are inconvenienced by the closure of the bridge.

Many people have expressed their 'anger' at me when I kindly inform them that the bridge is closed, and that they would have to walk TWO MINUTES to the next bridge and cross there. Now I totally understand the amount of patience one must have to be in the post of security. I was spitted on (well, they didn't hit me, but it was awfully close), cursed at, yelled at, you name it. Two guys walked past me yesterday, even after I told them that it is closed. They turned around, and said, "You can either watch me or call the cops." I didn't want to cause too much trouble, so I just let them through the bridge - while I called for backup. They were eventually stopped at the other end of the bridge and were sent back to my entrance.

One event really jumped out at me though, and I thought I'd share this with you. Now all of you should know that I'm a Canadian (and damn proud of that too), but I really have nothing against Americans. Sure sometimes I laugh at jokes at the expense of Americans, but that is about the same as Americans laughing at us for living in igloos all year, and have dogs pull our sled to work! Be assured that there were no hard feelings, and I do not generalize Americans to be all the same.

Anyway, this man was walking by the entrance. He seemed angry, and he was staring at me. Before I could ask him if he needed any help, he lashed out at me, screaming, "Canada's capital is closed! CLOSED DOWN!" I was stunned - alright, so the festival closed down a couple of streets, big deal. I could tell from his accent that he's definitely not from around here. After he said that, he gave me the finger. Now I was getting really angry, but since I was representing Bluesfest when I'm on duty, I refrained myself from saying anything. He kept walking, but still staring at me. He screamed again, "I'm from America! Fuck you Canada!! Canada can fucking kiss my fucking ass! You guys are all assholes! Here's something for you!" and he stuck up his middle finger at me again.

At this point, I was about the jump the fence and beat the guy senseless. I am no activist of the Canadian-pride movement, but I do not like my country being trashed as such. However, this is also the time for me to exercise constraint on my temper. "Let it go," I told myself. So he just stormed past the entrance and I just stood there watching him. After he left, I was proud of myself for not being short-tempered at a situation like this. At the same time, hurt and anger overfilled my emotions. I thought to myself, "How ignorant.. " Later on I found out that he also harassed many other volunteers. He certainly left a negative impression of our neighbouring country at the festival.

I still have a couple more shifts to go this week; hopefully they will go without a hitch or dramatic incidents like this one!

Monday, July 08, 2002

Alright, so now I finally have some time to post everything that I wanted to post. Here it is, the complete account of the Canada Day weekend! :)

June 27
Picked up my girlfriend at the bus station after work. Got home and realized that my house was flooded, and the basement had about 3-4 inches of water due to the backflow of the sewage. Sorta disgusting if you ask me. Anyway, the guy who lives in the basement had to move up and live in the living room for now (and he's still there while the basement is being repaired). Since my girlfriend had work to do, I went out with another housemate to watch a play at the Fringe festival (more on that later), but got stuck in traffic and missed the show. We went drinking instead. It was all good. :)

June 28
Ugh, one more day of work until the long weekend. As soon as work was over, Evelyn and I went to see several shows at the Fringe Festival. That pretty much ended the night since the last show ended around 12:30am..

June 29 & June 30
The whole weekend was filled with Fringe shows, shopping at the Rideau Centre, walking around the Byward Market, and more shopping. Some Fringe shows were interesting, others were.. uhh.. a bit too alternative for me. Anyway, it was a good run for the week. I ended seeing about 11 or 12 shows throughout the week. More reviews will follow later.

July 1
FINALLY! The day I have been waiting for - Canada Day. Normally it would be a regular day off, where I go out and maybe chill with my friends. This year is different. I'm at the capital city of Canada, and I have heard that Ottawa has the wildest parties for Canada Day. They are right. A whole bunch of us went down to the Parliament Hill at around 11am, and it was already packed with thousands of people on the streets and on the hill. They blocked off all the streets near the downtown area, and it was still tightly packed. We watched as the Governor General and the Prime Minister walked down the Confederation Parkway, and listened to several artists from different decades performing (of course they are all Canadian). It got too hot (remember the heat wave?), so we decided to cool off a bit at a friend's place.

After mingling and chatting for the afternoon, we headed out to the park for the fireworks. Originally we were going to watch the fireworks on the bridge, but they closed it off for security reasons (also I don't think the bridge can support everybody that is to be packed on it). It was amazing - I have never seen fireworks so close before. Especially the finale when they had fireworks blasting from all different angles. The feeling was particularly strong - almost as if I felt a bit of patriotism in me.

As we were walking through the Byward Market to head home, I saw this truck pull up to a side street and had a full-fledge sound system in the back. They turned on the music, and had an outdoor dance floor. Too bad I was simply exhausted, not to mention that I have work the next day, otherwise I would join in and dance through the night.

The entire day was filled with people with really high spirits - something I haven't seen in a while. Several times I have heard people start singing the national anthem, and the crowd joins in afterwards. Now I realize that Canadians have pride too - pride in our own country, pride in the cultural diversity that we embed ourselves in. Many people, different races, join in celebrating the 135th birthday of Canada, in harmony. Something that cannot be said about a lot of countries in the world.

Tuesday, July 02, 2002

First of all, happy birthday Adrian! I have been away from the computer for a couple of days, but I haven't forgotten yet buddy! Hahaha.. figured that you must be having too much fun during the weekend, that you don't pick up my calls when I call you. :P

Anyway, more on the weekend later. Plus some updates, reviews, yadda yadda yadda.. :)

Thursday, June 20, 2002

Adrian, I suggest you ease of on the World Cup thing. Read this :

Fan In Critical Condition

I don't want you go around shooting people, or burning yourself so you can become a phantom player. :P

Thursday, June 13, 2002

Enrollment for the next school term is today, and I already had several weeks to ponder on what course to take. I narrowed it down to about five to six courses. Fine, maybe that's not really narrowing it down, but it's better than picking any course at random. I'd like to share with you the pros and cons of each course I considered :)

French 151 - Yeah it's French. I remember after my grade 10 French class, I vowed to never ever take French again. Well, I take that back. FR151 shouldn't be too bad, especially if it's only introductory level. I think I still remember how to count from 1 to 10. :P Too bad it's lab-intensive, and lots of lecture hours and tutorials.

Spanish 101/Japanese 101 - Same idea as French, only I have absolutely no background in these. Not a bad idea to learn some new languages though!

Economics 371 - Finance Economics. This is almost like taking high school accounting + math all over again. They teach stuff like annunities, future/present value, etc. Plus some accounting principles. Not a bad course if I ever want to become a manager, or just to learn to have a better sense of making business decisions.

Psychology 101 - Oh yes, the course that every person walking out of university must have taken sometime during their undergraduate years. Too much reading, though. Plus the only section I could take is at night.. not that I have anything against night courses, but psychology might be a bit too much to absorb for three hours straight.

SMF 204 - It's not as bad as you think. For those of you who don't know, this is the course that sounds good but in fact it's a lot of work. This is, ladies and gentlemen, Introduction to Human Sexuality. (hence SMF - Sexuality, Marriage, and Family) Now get your mind outta the gutter, you don't watch p0rn all class and study them. In fact, it gets very scientific in the beginning. Topics include the anatomy of the reproductive systems, how sex is viewed in our society, pornographic material, sex for sale, etc. It is actually quite interesting. And no, Adrian, I did not write the textbook for this course :P Although, there is a chapter on positions........

Accounting 231 - Business law. Everything you want to know about laws governing the business world. This should be interesting, especially with the whole Enron thing going on. I think it's pretty beneficial to have a background knowledge in what I can or cannot do once I step out of school. :)

So guess which one I took?

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Evelyn came up for a visit this weekend! Finally I have an excuse to do all the tourist-type activities that would be otherwise stupid to do alone. Hahaha. Took her to walk around the Byward Market, the Rideau Centre, and walked around downtown a little. Then we headed to the casino (where I only lost $2.75, haha), and then gone home to watch the 2002 MTV Movie Awards.. we also walked around the Parliament Hill (and took millions of stupid pictures), and gone on this boat tour on the Ottawa River. It was a nice and warm day, but Evelyn was whining that it was too cold and she would rather stay inside the boat! What a waste!! The nice breeze and the sun were PERFECT!

Anyhow, she's now back in Waterloo to continue her dreadful task of writing her mini-thesis. Of course, and I'm back at my everyday job pretending to be working. :P

Monday, June 10, 2002

Conspiracy. I am certain of it. Sometimes I feel that the world is out to get me - and I have proof. I may be skeptical and suspicious, even slightly paranoid (to put it nicely), but it's better to be safe than sorry. Backstabbers. Sell-outs.

Trust no one.

Thursday, June 06, 2002

While reading Andrew's journal dated on June 5th, regarding how he finds his new roommate 'cute', I started chuckling at work. It's so true - in our times today, I don't think we could even say somebody is 'cute' without being branded as a secret admirer of the person. Why is that?

Platonic friendship between members of the opposite sex. Is it even possible? Can people actually do that? What about ex-girlfriends? Or ex-boyfriends? Can you still be friends with them?

I would like to think so.

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

So SOME people are complaining that I don't blog enough, others just assumed that I have vanished off the earth (and probably had a party just for that). Be rest assured, I'm not going away *that* easily. I've just been busy with everything here in Ottawa. Work is taking up a whole bunch of my time, and then going out, doing stuff, seeing things. It's not that bad of a city, except for the fact that I can barely find any nightlife here.

Thus far I've been to the Byward market, a couple of pubs downtown, a bar & grill type around my house, the casino, and walked around downtown a bit. Not exactly exciting, mind you, but it's better than hiding at home and playing computer games all day.

Thursday, May 30, 2002

So I'm taking this course called Nuclear Science - no, it's actually not as boring as it sounds. Some of the stuff they discuss is actually pretty cool. Anyway so they have these quizzes we have to do every week. Now something to note here is that the first few chapters of this course is actually very close to what I learned in high school. Which means it shouldn't be a problem for me to do the quizzes.

Now you all know where this is going. I got this question wrong on the quiz today. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, whatever, just one question, we're bound to get something wrong sometime. But this question was so simple that I knew I learned it as soon as I read the answer. If my chemistry teacher from high school found out that I got this wrong, he would kill me.

What I'm trying to say is, my memory is fading quicker than I thought. :)

Sunday, May 19, 2002

Yeppers, one whole month without blogging. As you may have noticed that I have updated my webcam picture on the left - yes, I finally got internet acecss at home. Don't ask me why I'm still up at 4am, but I just couldn't get to sleep. Something is bothering me - yes.. I don't know what. Don't you ever get that sometimes? When you just feel so restless but can't pinpoint what it is that bothers you so much. It's really bothering me too.. since I have been rolling around in bed for two hours, and couldn't fall asleep.

Let's see if I could re-construct the past month in this short blog. Finished finals, moved out of Waterloo, made a trip down to the US and visited several states (literally). Left the states to head straight to Ottawa, where I'm working for the next four months (more on that later). Then went back to Toronto, and then into Waterloo, out to Toronto, back to Waterloo, and Toronto again, then Ottawa. I have been here since May 4th. Yes, I hate long distance driving. It sucks - big time.

Well, perhaps I can try rolling around for another hour or two - then maybe I will see sunrise. Hahaha.

Thursday, April 18, 2002

Yippie! It's officially over - my 3A term is finally over. I wrote my last final exmination this morning, and as of 12 noon today, I was a free man! Hahaha! No longer have to subject to various tortures and endless nights in the library. Unfortunately, the cycle is only going to continue for another two years.. but always look on the good side - at least I can enjoy myself for the next four months!

With my job lined up, all I need to do now is to find a place to live and I'll be set. On to house searching!

Sunday, April 14, 2002

What am I doing still up?

Just to keep all of you (yeah, the three of you that read this) updated.. I'm in the middle of my final examinations.. yes, those dreadful things. There are three things for sure in life : death, taxes, and exams. You just can't escape!

Luckily enough, they will all be over this Wednesday. Stay tuned for an extended version of my blog this coming Thursday (yeah right, I think I'll be sleeping)

Saturday, April 06, 2002

I'm in the library right now. Yes, yes, final examinations. I know I have been talking about this forever, but if this weblog is about my life, and my life surrounds school, then that's exactly what I am going to talk about.

Looking at all my friend's blogs (they are all listed on the left side of the page - WHAT? You haven't visited them yet? You should - they tend to update more frequently than I do and probably have more interesting things to say), I realized that everybody accomplished *something* during their term. My friend Tania, for example, visited numerous countries in Europe, learned a lot of German, and hooked up with tons of German boys (alright, I made that up). My buddy Adrian is doing what he loves most - math, while enjoying his peaceful yet eventful life in the US. He also got to visit a couple of places too, and having a blast everyday with his co-workers and his housemate. Not to mention the chicks he gets, oh boy, like girls are just flocking his way and he has trouble peeling them off himself! (fine, I made that up too, but hey, at least I have faith in all my friends' attractiveness to other people) Andrew is having fun in the east coast, enjoying his studies and still has time to party. Then there's Evie.. well, she's in school too, so she doesn't count :) Even she accomplished in getting her favourite stuffed Pooh to study with her!

Then let's look at me. Hmm, what have I accomplished this semester?


That's right, ladies and gentlemen, nothing. I have been stuck in school for three months already, day-in and day-out I have been slaving away at labs/library/empty classrooms/home. I am serious. There was not a single moment which I had for myself, that I was truly relaxed. The only 'thing' I accomplished this semester was elevated blood pressure, an extreme tolerance for school, and a worse-than-ever temper. None of which I consider a 'good' accomplishment. I admit, I might not be the most interesting person on the planet. Some may consider me a 'geek', but I *do* know how to have fun. Simply put, I am NOT having any fun right now. I'm not even CLOSE to having fun. Being here, slaving away, seem like a chore more than anything. Educational experience, yeah right.

So what's my point after my rambling? I have no idea. I just thought I should share it with you - whomever you may be. This is the reason for my blog - my space, my identity on the planet. This is one place where I can be myself, share my thoughts, and propose my views on life, the universe, and everything.

Getting back to studying. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Friday, April 05, 2002

Oh right, I almost forgot to mention this. Classes were officially over on April 1st, and I have accomplished a feat that I promised the world (alright fine, it was mostly myself) that I would see it completed. Are you ready for this?

I attended every single lecture this term!!!!

Once upon a time (I am making myself sound so old), I was young and naive. (more like stupid and useless) Anyhow, I made this bet with a certain individual (actually, more like several people, since nobody believed me at the time) that I would attend all my classes in my frosh year. Of course that never made it through the first three weeks. :P Being frosh was just so much fun (there were other reasons, but I won't elaborate now - e-mail me if you want to know more) and as such, the bet was off. Of course I still owe this certain individual a night of free flowing alcohol and women (hey wait, I never said anything about the women part). So bring it on, show me how much you can drink!

PS: See what happens when you study for 16 hours a day for a week? Absolute insanity!
Study study.. finally studying for final examinations.. sometimes I wonder why I put myself through all the stress, when I could easily just pass, get my 60, and complete my degree. This little thing called "striving" really annoys me at times.

Monday, April 01, 2002

Why am I still here in the lab? Can somebody explain to me why I always leave things till the last minute? Better yet, why do I *forget* things?

If a lab is due on Monday, it is to my benefit to finish it early, no?

Well, better get prepared for the long three weeks ahead of me.

Thursday, March 28, 2002

One more night dammit, just one more! This is it - two reports are due tomorrow.. when I get these completed and out of the way, just a couple more days and I can start studying for final examinations.

Don't get me wrong, I don't especially *enjoy* studying for finals. I mean, who does? At least I know that no new material will be presented between now and the examination - which is a good thing. I can finally see the whole thing in the big picture.. it really helps with studying!

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

Just when I thought my late nights in the lab is over, here I am again in the lab. Little did I realize that by devoting my life to operating systems, I have neglected the other five subjects I am undertaking this term. It often makes me wonder how other people manage to get through effortlessly. Funny, perhaps I am not smart enough to be here?

A 10-page report on an embedded system design, a small report on the operating systems design, two electronic circuits labs to complete.. when this is all over, I think I'll need a vacation!

Friday, March 22, 2002

T minus 100..

We finally got it working with a certain sense of stability (of course, at 6am, anything is stable when it doesn't start crashing down and telling us there are 'Format Errors' or 'Illegal Operation of Bus Read'). I have been running some rigourous test cases.. and now I'm sitting back, taking a break, hoping for the best during the demonstration. I mean, it is 15% of my final mark at stake here. Not exactly something that I like to toy around with.

There is quite a strong blizzard outside - perhaps its a sign that it will be peace and quiet in the laboratory during the demonstration? That we won't be slaughtered by the TAs, asking us next-to-impossible questions?

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

In approximately 36 hours, it will probably be one of the very few 'life-or-death' situations in my life. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be demonstrating the operating system that I've been working on for weeks to the TAs. Which explains why I am still in the lab at this hour of the day. Hopefully things will go well :)

On to other parts of my life.. oh wait, school _IS_ my life during these four months of a school semester. Nevermind :)

I slept for 12 hours straight last night - oops, there was a quiz today on random variables and probability processes. Oh well, failed that. Moving on to bigger things - Operating Systems. We have a little less than 48 hours left to completely implement the entire system. Kinda scary when you think about it. I have spent _way_ too much time at this, and I should be at home studying for other courses. Instead, I'm here blogging and probably going to be here until tomorrow morning, when I deicide to go home, pick up my books, and come back for classes. *sigh* I have already pulled three all-nighters for this..

Monday, March 18, 2002

This is my daily blog.. I haven't slept in two days. Due to my size and the nature of my looks, I can be literally classified as a panda.

Sometimes I wish things didn't have to screw up the way they do.


Sunday, March 17, 2002

You know what would be funny? If everybody decided to ditch classes from this point forward, and devote 150% of their time to the Operating Systems project, maybe they will finally realize how we are all losing sleep over this. I have *never* seen so many people in the lab at 6am, let alone all working towards a common goal - to get it over and done with.

Think I should take a break sometime between now and when everybody decides to show up at the lab.. :)
Blech.. I feel so wired but absolutely drained out. Been up since 10am, working on.. you know what. Operating system, that's what. I sometimes wonder why I put myself through this, I mean, I could have *easily* gone to another school and probably finished my degree in no time. Instead, I choose to be here and suffer through all the extreme deadlines and the incredible amount of work. I mean, even the _real world_ don't require you to write an operating system in a fully functional sense in three weeks. You crazy? They pay people BIG BUCKS for doing this. Oh right, I forgot, I'm also *PAYING* to be tortured. Not to mention their 15% increase of tuition next term.

Yes, I said it correctly, FIFTEEN PERCENT. What kind of school is this, a private American snobby rich school? If I want to pay $8k every year to receive an education, I would have applied to the US. I still remember when I started (seems so long ago now), the tuition was a little less than $6k a year. This is simply getting ridiculous - deregulation of tuition really sucks.

Alright, enough of me complaining. Time to hit the coding once again and hope to survive until Thursday - when this whole thing *SHOULD* be over.

Saturday, March 16, 2002

You don't need to be a psychic to guess where I am right now. I mean, who would be really bloggin at 1am on a Friday night.. ahem.. Saturday morning. This is going to be *THE* crunch weekend! Looks like I'll be breaking my own record of 36.5 hours without sleep. Perhaps I'll go for 40, but 48 seems really tempting. It is possible - just that it would take me a good week to get back in shape for the finals. Hmm.. maybe if I stop blogging and actually start working, I would get more work done. But you know me, I am known for my procrstination..

So my friends are enjoying themselves. Oh if you haven't noticed, on the left bottom of my blog page I have links to ppl all over the world. My friend in Germany is going on a roadtrip in a Porsche, and my friend in the US headed to NYC for the weekend. What about me? I'm stuck in the Waterhole suffering. Sometimes I wish life was fair :P

Friday, March 15, 2002

Whoohoo! More lab time for me! I am getting really sick of this - and my eating schedule is screwing up big time. I had one meal today, namely, dinner. I spent all day today in class/in lab, with several minutes in between to walk between buildings. One thing I am DEFINITELY getting this summer is a nice pair of walkers - no boots, no runners. WALKERS. I don't even know if that's what they call it, but I think they should make it if they don't. I mean, you want to look trendy and sophisticated, but at the same time, you want to be able to sprint (I mean it, literally) from one building to the next without your feet swelling up afterwards. Wearing runners just don't cut it for me - besides, why wreck a nice pair of runners? It's only school! So as you can see, I'm once again procrastinating on blogging. Not that there's anything wrong with it, since if you have been following my blog, you will have noticed that I tend to blog a LOT when I have major projects/assignments due. Such as my work term report, which may I add, I already got back about a month ago and got a half decent mark for it. Come to think of it, it took me two days to write that thing. Just merely two days of effort and I get excellent results. Now that's what I call efficiency :P

Anyway, should stop talking now and get back to more serial interfacing and timer interrupts. I mean, I want my processes to get services once in a while. :)

If you haven't noticed, I'm not making much sense anymore.

Thursday, March 14, 2002

Lab lab lab.. I'm stuck in lab.

RTOS = Really Tedious Operating System

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

So they lost my last blog. Lovely. Just when I thought I could rant forever and nobody could take it away from me, poof, there it goes. I've been litereally *living* in the computer lab for the past four days. Yes, this horrible project.. Operating Systems. Now how do they expect us to write an entire operating system in two months, is beyond my comprehension. What I know is that I better finish it by next week, because this makes me or breaks me. Okay, it doesn't make me at all. It just breaks me if I don't finish.

Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Wow, been a while since I posted. Let me reiterate one point - being a third year computer engineering student is not a fun thing. Especially when there is this big (and when I say big, I mean big) project due in two weeks, and I know for a fact that it would take many all-nighters just to finish it.. *sigh* It could be worse.. oh wait, it happened. This morning my hard drive crashed on me, literally. You can _HEAR_ the drive head scraping the surface of the media.. not good. So I lost about five years worth of work. Oh well. What can I say? I have been having HORRIBLE luck ever since the semester started. Maybe this is retribution for something I have done in the past.. now let's see, what have I done to deserve this?

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

Yay! Midterms are over! After a gruelsome two weeks of continuous studying, I am now back in the full-swing of everyday academic activities!

For those people who are on their reading week (or spring break, depending on where you're from), have fun while I suffer in school. Yes, for some reason they have decided to shorten our study break. Heck, we work so hard during each semester that we should get an EXTENDED reading week to catch up, and not reduced to a merely two days of 'Reading Days".

Friday, February 15, 2002

Okay, I officially declare myself the dumbest person in the entire freakin' universe. Just because of a small littke '1' that is a subscript of y, I lost 25/100 on my midterm. Lovely day!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody..

Thursday, February 14, 2002

7:19am.. *sigh* Didn't even get more than 4 hours of sleep last night.. now I'm already off to the library to study again.. if this is how I am studying for midterms, how am I ever going to study for final examinations?!
Yes, you are reading the time correctly. It *is* 2:40am. I have just returned from studying for the midterm tomorrow, and I really should be getting some sleep.

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

That's right! I almost forgot..

H-A-P-P-Y N-E-W Y-E-A-R E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y !!!!!!!!!

Yes yes, it's Chinese new year today. Today officially starts the year of the horse. Funny, why they name the years after animals. Oh well, no time to ponder life's questions. Back to midterm studying. :)
Yep, it's 1:53am and I'm still up studying. Of course, what else would I be doing at this hour during midterm week?

Sorry, just had to rant.
Another one down.. did a little better today, but still not back to my standards. I feel that I'm not working half as hard as I did last semester. Admittedly, the material presented this semester is significantly more taxing on my intelligence. However, I have always been able to 'rise to the challenge'. Somehow I must find my concentration back.

So overall, it was a fairly decent midterm. I blame myself for not being ready enough. I knew how to do *every* question on the exam, except (a) I ran out of time and (b) I simply had no clue how to do several of the questions. So perhaps my midterm tomorrow will go a little smoother. Hopefully by the end I would have mastered the art of taking tests once again.

Sunday, February 10, 2002

Alright.. one down, four to go.. I screwed up my midterm really badly this morning. We're talking, the entire class found it easy and I had a hard time figuring things out. It's all relative once you're in university - it's not about what you get, because different professors gauge their tests/exams differently. Only when you compare yourself against the entire class as a whole, you will get some feedback as to how well you actually did. This whole 'relative grading' takes learning to a completely different perspective.

Yes, I'm rambling on about nothing. Sue me.

Saturday, February 09, 2002

Midterms suck. Period. I am studying for my first midterm, which is happening tomorrow morning (Can you believe this? A midterm at 9am on a SATURDAY morning). Still lost, a lot more to study than I have time for.. and can't forget to factor in some time for sleep. As usual I'm procrastinating again by blogging. How typical of me.

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

I had my first interview today for this term. Probably going to be my last, but that's another story all together. Anyhow, just feel like rambling on about the interview today. It was definitely memorable, as I have not been *ever* humiliated by an interviewer as badly as I did today. Perhaps it was my lack of skill and intelligence to answer his questions, but I didn�t feel like myself today. Nine out of the ten questions he asked, I didn�t have an answer for. To make the matter worse, I got the tenth one wrong. Way to go.

Strangely enough, they actually WANTED to interview me. The position they are hiring is a Digital Signal Processing Researcher - which means, lots of Calculus and circuit analysis, which I have minimal exposure to. Oh well, I guess only time will tell.. I won�t find out until next week anyway. In the meantime, let�s hope I will be getting more interviews.

Friday, January 25, 2002

Ever wonder why you put up so much for something that you might not even want? Or that you don't know if you want? That's how I feel about university sometimes. I mean, higher education - wow, that sounds exciting and wonderful. I am a firm believer of that - I am not in the university to make money. I do have a strong desire to learn, and that is obviously demonstrated by my strong affinity to take things apart and break things in the process. The real question is : do I really have to be here to receive the 'higher learning' that I always hoped for? Could I not learn elsewhere?

Whatever happened to 'enjoy life while you're young' and 'life is too short to be upset/sad/(insert your own motivational adjective)'?

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

School has been catching up on me - finally. Lots of labs and assignments coming up, plus midterms are riding awfully close. I am not joking, midterms are in three weeks or so. I am personally a little bit scared already, but should contain my fear in case I need a bigger dosage of it to make me panic a little (when I panic, I study like a madman) :)

Failed checklist for my work report. Great. Now I got it back and I failed it on some mistake that I'm not even sure if it is actually a mistake. Oh well, just have to fix it and resubmit the report - otherwise I won't be able to pass the term.

Wednesday, January 16, 2002

Surprisingly, I have not been swamped with work yet! At about the same time last semester, I was already on my 'come near me and I'll kill you' mood. This time around, it seems pretty relaxed and not so disorganized. It feels good though - I have good feelings about this semester. I think I will learn a lot, and hopefully out-perform myself once again. However, I have learned one important thing from my experience in the summer - never neglect to do other things in my life. I suppose I had given up a lot of things when I focused on school, and now that I think back, was it really worth it?

Life is really like those adventure book games - always faced with difficult decisions. Should I go down the road or follow the unicorn? :) You know those books where you choose your path and then flip to page 23? Then you make another decision and flip to page 79? Yeah, those.

I found out today that they are no longer mailing us our report cards. Welcome to the digital age, ladies and gentlemen. Now we have to 'print' our own grade reports. How authentic is that. Really. I can just make up my marks.. but.. uhh.. that would be an academic offence.

All the job postings start tomorrow - so it's once again time for the routine of photocopying resumes, figuring out which jobs to apply for, and keep count of how many I have already applied. I really hope there will be enough jobs for all of us in my class. It would suck if some people couldn't get jobs because there just weren't enough!

Monday, January 14, 2002

Went out to Toronto for the weekend - needed to relax. It has been a stressful week. So I slacked this weekend - something I haven't done in a while. I am a perfectionist + workaholic - suitable for the corporate world today. Time to really settle down and start working - this semester is going to be 'interesting' :)

Working on an assignment right now, and as usual, I like to blog while I am working. A good way to procrastinate I guess!

Thursday, January 10, 2002

So it's over - I finished it at 10:19am on Tuesday morning. Rushed to the printer at 10:38am, and then to the Graphics outlet at 11:23am. Printed, nicely put together, and ready to be submitted. Ahhh :) Finally!

The feeling of completeness is great. Not only regarding this report, but of anything that is important to me. Whether it be a school term (I'm always so glad that a term is over, regardless how poorly I did on my final examinations), a work project, or just something as trivial as cleaning up the dump I call my room. Of course, there's the completeness in life that we all long for. I never really believed in finding completeness in oneself when looking for a partner, but my feeling towards that has somewhat changed over the past years. :P

Tuesday, January 08, 2002

Now I'm freaking out. I have less than 24 hours to complete a report that I have barely started. No joke. I have finished reading most of the documents I printed, and have a pretty good idea what to write about. Now it's down to writing it and actually making sense of everything. Rest assured, I have already stocked up on my coffee supply. Looks like it'll be a long night..

On a side note, my girlfriend was supposed to be arriving back from her vacation at 12:30am. Well, turns out that the stupid customs over at Vancouver took a little too long to process all the passengers on her flight. So now she missed her connecting flight back to Toronto, and she has to take a later flight. Not that it's a problem normally, but the flight arrives in Toronto at 6:00am! Now talk about unreasonable! It's not even her fault for missing the flight. Adding to the fact that my report is due at officially 4:30pm tomorrow, I'm totally stressing out.

Oh did I mention that she has 10 hours of classes tomorrow? Yeah, add that to the bad luck list.

Ah well, life sucks. What can I say? :) Just bite it and move on! <- my new motto in life ^_^

Monday, January 07, 2002

Okay, so I have less than a day to finish it and I'm not even half way done. This is just great - I don't think I'll be sleeping tomorrow. Actually, in fact, I won't be sleeping ANYTIME soon. My school term has just started and I'm already stuck pulling an all-nighter during the first week of classes - and this is not even because of labs. This is extremely sad. I should be in bed right now, get rested and face the challenges DURING the term, and not now!

Alright, enough whining already. Time to buckle down and do some last-minute reading. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up something useful from all these documents I just printed, and have something interesting to write in my report.
I have re-discovered something today that I have known for a long time. I am the laziest person I know. I procrastinate whenever I could, and put off work as much as possible. No joke, it's taken me close to two days to come up with a work term report topic, an outline, and the introduction. I haven't even started writing the main body yet, and it's already dinner time. My friends invited me over for dinner so I will be leaving in a short while, so there goes another hour or so being unproductive. Oh well, it's my fault afterall. :)

Dammit, I'm procrastinating as we speak!

There's nothing worse than realizing your own problem, but yet not correcting yourself.

Sunday, January 06, 2002

I hate writing reports. Especially the ones that I have no idea what I am writing about. It's almost 6pm and I haven't even begun writing anything of substance yet. Still trying to formulate the purpose of my report, but at least I have finished formatting the report. Yes I know I got the procedures reversed, but you can't blame me for trying to be productive even when I am procrastinating :P

Saturday, January 05, 2002

Oh right, forgot to update the fact that I'm right now struggling with my work term report. You know the report that most people dread after a co-op work term? How am I supposed to write thirty pages on a topic that I barely touched on during the past four months? Right now I'm trying to read as much as possible and to get a good feel for the entire outline. I'm afraid it will be a long and stressful weekend ahead of me..
Happy New Year everybody! I notice it's a bit late to say that, but I have just been drafted back into school so things have been a little chaotic to say the least. What can I say, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. There's really nothing new going on right now, other then the fact that my friends that are to leave the country have left. Hope they have fun where they are!

Tuesday, January 01, 2002

Wow, so much as happened since the last time I blogged. My trip to Montreal was tres interesting! (pardon my French) A couple of us went clubbing at this club called "Cafe Campus". Although they did play some weird French pop songs (which by the way does not sound as bad as everybody puts it), we still had a great time dancing and drinking the night away. The city is definitely different under a different season, the snow covered the entire city and it feels really like a white Christmas. Of course except that I actually returned to Toronto before Christmas.

For the past couple of days I have just been catching up with friends. It certainly makes up for the time when I was in school and didn't keep in touch with anyone. One of my friends is going down to Connecticut for eight months, another one is going over to Germany for four. Hopefully they won't cause too much trouble while they are away. :)